Here I am again, back by popular request!

lol. Not really.

But there has been some question about what has happened in my life since my last posts. So here is the quick breakdown.

Although it was a very difficult thing for me to do, I ended things with GF back in December. I realized that there were problems in our relationship, and not all of them had to do with I1. But I1 was the biggest reason.

And speaking of I1, I closed my December 28th post with the following statement: "Wish me luck in my new adventures, because next I have to deal with I1 and my feelings for her... and I don't think that will be nearly as easy as breaking up with GF." The statement fulfilled itself in many ways. It hasn't been easy. I1 and I never got back together, although I felt some small hope there for a little while. It never happened though. Basically she had trouble dealing with my honesty about things and had trouble dealing with the different sides of my personality. She liked the confident person that she saw at work but had problems adjusting to the man who was less confident in himself when it comes to dating. She liked me being direct in approaching her but didn't like me being sexually forward with her.

She has had to deal with my jealousy about her dating life when other people made sure to point it out to me, and has had to deal with loosing her temporary job with my agency.

But despite it all, I1 and I are still friends. That's the shit of it all. We really enjoy each other's company. And now, almost a year later, I'm finally getting to the point where I'm letting go of the relationship I hoped to have from her. I still have very strong feelings for her, and probably will for as long as I know her. But I'm at the point in my life where I'm starting to move on.

It's not easy for me... there are still times when I'm around her that the desire to take her in my arms and kiss her is so strong I just about can't stand it.

But I deal with it. I friendly flirt with her without letting my feelings for her overwhelm me. Or I try to. Sometimes I feel bitter. Sometimes I'm angry. Sometimes I'm just sad.

But I deal with it.

It's been nine months since I broke up with my ex-girlfriend. I've been on dates since then, but I haven't dated anyone since then. I haven't had sex since then. I haven't had a girl fall asleep with her head pillowed on my shoulder since then.

But I deal with it.